Stop The Recount! You Lost! Get The Fuck Over It! Move On! Die!!!
I'm referring of course to North Carolina's Far Right Biblehumping corporate-dicksucking governor, Pat McCrory. It was a close election, but McCrory's opponent — North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper — has defeated McCrory by more than 10,000 votes. 10,000 votes is supposed to be the legal cutoff point, above which the vote is “official,” i.e. no recounting of the votes.
But McCrory and the rest of North Carolina's Republican Mafia are insisting that 90,000 votes in Durham County are “suspicious” (i.e. too many Nigras and poor people and librul college students must have slipped through the Voter Suppression machine) and need to be recounted.
North Carolina has had a Far Right legislature for a long time, but until four years ago, their Democratic governor would routinely veto the avalanches of teabagger wetdream legislation that came pouring in. That all changed four years ago when Pat McCrory got elected.
McCrory is most infamous for signing North Carolina's “Eek! It's a Homosexual! Keep them perverts out of the bathroom!” bill. (Governor-Elect Roy Cooper is the state attorney general who refused to defend the state's anti-LGBT law in federal courts, much to the chagrin of North Carolina's Biblehumping community.)
But McCrory is also one of the fossil fuel industry's busiest skankiest prostitutes. For just one example: Fracking companies are not required to disclose the chemicals used in the fracking process — chemicals that are seeping into people's water supply. But that wasn't enough. McCrory signed a law making it a felony for anyone to publicly reveal which chemicals are used in the fracking process. When a fossil fuel lobbyist says “Suck my dick!” Pat McCrory answers “How hard, Sir!?!? Should I spit or swallow, Sir?!?!”
Bill Maher nailed it 3 years ago with this description of Pat McCrory's governorship:
“North Carolina is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy angry idea your drunk right-wing uncle mumbles at Thanksgiving, turn it into a law, and that’s North Carolina today.”
Thank God he's been voted out. Governor-Elect Roy Cooper, you've got a huuuge mess to clean up. Pat McCrory, fuck off and die! And the slower the better.
UPDATE: The corpse that died almost four weeks ago has finally admitted he's dead. Pat McCrory has just announced:
“Despite continued questions that should be answered regarding the voting process, I personally believe that the majority of our citizens have spoken and we now should everything we can to support the 75th governor of North Carolina — Roy Cooper.”