NBC News: “GE? Taxes? Who?”

For years, everybody with two brain cells to rub together has known — and has tried to get the message across — that our consolidated corporate-owned “media” companies are NOT reporting the news. But now it’s become so obvious that it’s finally moved beyond the endless “is not, is too” arguments.

The GE tax scandal has provided us with a 100-foot neon sign and a 200-decibel bullhorn. It’s too blatant, too in-your-face, for anyone to not see it and hear it. It’s not possible to stand waist deep in a vat of steaming shit and ask “Smell? Huh?”

When the New York Times reported that General Electric had paid zero income taxes, the story went viral. But for some odd reason, NBC — including that ultra-liberal socialist MSNBC — didn’t mention it. And that’s because:

General Electric (GE) owns NBC. You wouldn’t want to report something that might embarrass your boss, now, would you?

Get it now? Any questions?

As the saying goes: “Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.”

Michigan is the New Wisconsin

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is the most famous of the union-busting Kochsuckers. But the same thing is happening in Ohio, Florida and Michigan, among other states. The Right is getting better and better at creating nationwide corporate-funded stealth campaigns disguised as spontaneous “grass roots” movements.

2009 was famous for those orchestrated choreographed “demonstrations” against health care reform. This year, the red states just happen to be simultaneously passing legislation to destroy unions, disenfranchise voters and other Far Right causes.

Here’s the latest underhanded sleazefest from Michigan: Governor Rick Snyder has signed a law to shorten the length of time for unemployment benefits. Michigan has one of the country’s highest unemployment rates, and their unemployment rate has been higher than 10% for longer than any other state. How’s that Compassionate Conservative thingy workin’ out for ya?

Even more despicable than the law itself is the slippery underhanded method for passing the law. The wording for the law was quietly inserted into a bill that was allegedly going to preserve and increase unemployment benefits. Like the old saying goes, “the large print giveth and the fine print taketh away.”

Rep. Sander Levin (D—Michigan) said:

“It turns the clock back 50 years at a time when unemployment is at historic highs since the Depression. I think that Michigan should not be to unemployment insurance what Wisconsin has become to collective bargaining.”

Michigan voters — start cranking up the recall machinery and get those two-faced corporate prostitutes out of there.

And there’s more news from Michigan. Remember when the Freedom of Information Act was something conservatives hated and kept trying to eliminate? They didn’t want the riffraff finding out about things that were best left to CEOs and their congressional errand boys.

Now suddenly, the Right has flipflopped and decided the Freedom of Information Act is just hunky dory. A group of shadowy rightwing donors has made a massive FOIA request for e-mail records from the labor relations departments at three different Michigan universities.

They want access to all e-mails that contain any reference to “Scott Walker,” “Madison,“ “Wisconsin,” “Rachel Maddow,” and any references to collective bargaining in Wisconsin.

Roland Zullo, a University of Michigan professor, said:

“This is a way that they're going after folks they don't agree with, I suppose. I see it just simply as part of the political environment we exist in right now.”

General Electric Pays Zero Taxes, Tells Employees to Tighten Their Belts

You can't make this shit up.

As the New York Times reported last week, GE paid no income taxes in 2010. In fact they received $3.2 billion in tax credits. And how did they pull this off? By having close intimate connections with “former officials not just from the Treasury, but also from the I.R.S. and virtually all the tax-writing committees in Congress,” according to the NYT article.

And now on top of that, GE will be demanding major concessions from its 15,000 unionized employees. Fourteen unions representing 15,000 workers will be negotiating a new contract with GE.

Pensions, health care coverage and wages will all go downhill if GE gets its way.

A machinist at GE said:

“You wonder why there is a jobs crisis in this country with a guy like G.E. CEO Jeff Immelt heading the President’s Jobs Commission.”

Rep. Anthony Weiner to Democrats: “Stop Cowering”

It needed to be said. And our spinally challenged Democrats need to hear it and act on it.

Most Democrats have spent the last few years lying in bed, curled up in the fetal position, thinking “if I pull the covers over my head and stay perfectly still, Republicans won’t see me and they won’t be able to get me.”

Dana Milbank described the Democrats as being “passive to the point of wimpy” on the first anniversary of the Affordable Care Act. He quotes Anthony Weiner as saying:

“If Democrats believe it’s going to go away, they’re wrong. I don’t represent the hide-under-the-desk wing of the Democratic Party. I believe we’ve got to lean into this fight.”

He says Nancy Pelosi has been “inartful,” and President Obama hasn’t provided “air cover” for Democrats in Congress. The White House “hasn’t done a very good job” of confronting critics. And referring to the Democrats in general: “We have to stop cowering.”

He says Democrats should be actively promoting and celebrating the health care reform law. “It’s not enough just to say, ‘Here’s this great bill.’ We haven’t done a particularly skillful job in the last year of rebutting some of the basic thrusts of the Republican opposition to the bill.”

Dana Milbank says the Democrats are “answering the opposition’s often-scurrilous allegations with earnest pleas not to ‘relitigate’ the past. In wishing away the fight, they are losing it.”

In other words — Stop Cowering!

Wisconsin’s Anti-Union Law “Published” in Spite of Court Injunction

George Orwell and Franz Kafka are alive and well and living in Wisconsin. Together with Abbott and Costello (“Who’s On First?”), maybe they could figure out what the fuck this article means.

OK — Previously on America versus the Koch Brothers:

Wisconsin’s “Destroy All Unions” legislation was passed by the legislature and signed by Scott Walker. Then the law was blocked by a judge because of the slippery — possibly illegal — tactics used in passing the law.

So far — clear and understandable. Then it turns into a script that Lewis Carroll couldn’t have thought of:

The Castrate-All-Unions law has now been published by the “nonpartisan Legislative Reference Bureau.” The fact that the law has been “published” means it can take effect — probably tomorrow.

So here’s what we have: Wisconsin’s Secretary of State cannot publish this new law because of the court injunction. But the Legislative Reference Bureau is required to publish every new law within ten days of being signed by the governor.

And the fact that the law has been “published” means the law can take effect tomorrow.

So what the fuck do we have judges for? Courts? Anyone???

Lewis Black should do one of his screaming hair-pulling rants about this.

America’s Two Most Powerful Special Interest Groups: Postal Workers and Indians

Overpaid teachers and firefighters aren’t the only drain on the U.S. Treasury. Congress is finally getting ready to crack down on another huge burden on taxpayers: those overpaid underworked pampered postal workers.

What do they do anyway, to earn those gigantic paychecks? Most of them live in gated communities with a pool in every backyard and two or three Ferraris in every driveway. And on top of all this luxury, postal workers just got a 3.5% pay raise.

Finally, Darrell Issa, America’s number one private dick (the operative word is dick) is going to do what he does best. He tore into those overpaid bureaucrats with:

“The Postal Service must show Congress and the American people that it can pay its own way, because the numbers do not seem to add up.”

And now on to the other special interest group. You probably don’t know this — especially if you’ve been to an Indian Reservation lately — but American Indians are the most protected pampered special interest group in the country. Hmmm, come to think of it, every time they scream “Waaaahhh, they took our land” — they get another handout. OK, we’re onto your little scam. Enough already!

Finally, Fox News correspondent John Stossel has brought this outrageous scandal to our attention:

“Why is there a Bureau of Indian Affairs? There is no Bureau of Puerto Rican Affairs or Black Affairs or Irish Affairs. And no group in America has been more helped by the government than the American Indians, because we have the treaties, we stole their land. But 200 years later, no group does worse.”

It sounds sort of like Jerry Seinfeld’s “Why do they call it Ovaltine?” monologue. And that’s the thing. With so many simpleminded rightwing dickwads running loose, it’s getting harder and harder to tell whether it’s a Daily Show/SNL skit or the real thing.

Dennis Kucinich Might Block Funding for War in Libya

Dennis Kucinich announced yesterday that he plans to introduce an amendment to deny funding for our military intervention in Libya. Denying funding — I thought only Republicans could do that.

Unfortunately he’s going about it the old fashioned way — out in the open. Front and center. In a letter to colleagues he wrote:

“I intend to offer an amendment to the forthcoming Continuing Resolution or Omnibus Appropriations bill that would prohibit funding for U.S. involvement in military operations in Libya. I urge you to support this amendment.”

Out in the open like that, in front of God and everybody? Sheesh, didn’t the Republicans teach this guy anything? All he has to do is place an anonymous hold on the funding. It might be weeks, months even, before anyone even knows about the hold, let alone who placed it.

Obama is catching a lot more shit from the other side: Republican Chickenhawks (or is that a redundancy?). Most of these couchwipes wouldn’t know a military uniform if it bit ‘em on the ass, but they know exactly what the Commander-in-Chief is doing wrong, what he should do instead and when he should have done it.

As Matt Latimer says in the linked article:

“The United States military can handle any foe thrown against us, so why not give them a few more? Such is the sentiment of a dominating faction of the Republican Party — a group always eager to deploy America’s sons and daughters to war zones, but who never do the fighting themselves.”

Newt Gingrich is not only one of the aforementioned chickenhawks — he can’t even make up his mind what Obama is doing wrong. All he knows is, Obama is wrong. There’s no need for boring details.

Two weeks ago Gingrich was hammering Obama for NOT invading Libya. Now he’s complaining because we ARE intervening in Libya. Make up your mind! Is this the kind of wishy-washy indecisiveness we want in a future president???

Come on Newt — show us that same bold decisiveness you displayed when you marched into your wife’s hospital room and presented her with divorce papers.

Governor John Kasich: Creating Jobs in Ohio

The liberal media has been portraying John Kasich as a braindead errand boy for the Oligarchy, with absolutely no specific plans other than crippling unions and going down on the Koch brothers.

Nothing could be further from the truth. As the teatards keep reminding us, “the government can’t create jobs.” And John Kasich is proving this talking point by creating a private entity — JobsOhio — which will urge businesses to relocate to Ohio. “No unions! Rock bottom wages! None of them commie safety regulations!”

When you hear that giant sucking sound, it’ll be from thousands of companies moving out of those Nanny Blue States and into Freedom-loving Ohio. (Of course it’ll also include the sound of John Kasich’s above-mentioned threesome with the Koch brothers.)

Being the shrewd free-enterpriser that he is, John Kasich will be the chairman of JobsOhio. Liberals will probably whine about “conflict of interest” or “corporate welfare” or whatever…

Kasich has a foolproof plan for financing JobsOhio. He’ll be leasing the state’s liquor stores to JobsOhio, and the booze revenue will finance their operations. This economic plan is foolproof for two reasons:

1. Buyer’s Remorse. People who are in the throes of buyer’s remorse tend to drink more. And Ohio voters are going through a major big time lollapalooza case of buyer’s remorse.

2. John Boehner.

Now is that teamwork or what? If Boehner satisfies his jones exclusively through Ohio’s liquor stores, Ohio will soon have the lowest unemployment rate in the world.

Voter Fraud: How to Prevent Dumb Conservatives from Voting

It’s simple: make all voters pass the same test that immigrants have to pass in order to become U.S. citizens. No Republican candidate would ever get elected.

There are millions — tens of millions — of American citizens who think Obama was born in Kenya and he’s a Muslim, Social Security and labor unions are the cause of our multi-trillion dollar deficit, and the global financial crash of 2008 started AFTER President Obama was inaugurated in January 2009.

Can you imagine any of the above-mentioned dumbfucks passing the citizenship test?

Newsweek gave the U.S. citizenship test to a thousand American citizens. 38% of them failed the test. As this article by Andrew Romano says:

“The country's future is imperiled by our ignorance…the world has changed. And unfortunately, it’s becoming more and more inhospitable to incurious know-nothings — like us.”

Here’s just one example: 29% of the test-takers couldn’t name the vice president of the United States. “It ain’t Sarah Palin, so who cares?”

Republicans are paranoid — fixated! — over teeming hordes of ex-convicts, illegal immigrants and Negroes trying to vote. But they have no problem whatsoever with bone-stupid white ignoramuses voting, because they vote Republican.

Being Governed by Republicans is “Like Rooming with a Meth Addict”

Bill Maher nails the GOP. Again.

Imagine having a roommate who’s a meth addict. The rent is overdue, but your roommate, “instead of rent, is worrying that police have bugged the air conditioner.”

And so it is with the GOP. They got themselves elected by shrieking “Jobs!” — but now that they’re in power, all we’re getting is a bunch of “useless distractions that make up the Republican Party agenda.”

They haven’t created a single new job, but their biggest worries are “public unions, Sharia law, anchor babies, the Ground Zero mosque, NPR, and the war on Christmas.”

He also ridiculed the Republican obsession with ACORN: “Republicans are obsessed with people cooking up wild, nonexistent schemes to vote, ignoring one important truth: this is America. No one wants to vote. What's next, jury duty fraud?"

And about the GOP fixation on the New Black Panthers: “Every black person scares you.”

The real issues that Bill Maher wants politicians to worry about: “Climate change, loose nukes, debt, infrastructure, the wealth gap, our addiction to oil from weird, distant places run by monsters that want us dead, like Alaska.”

In other news: James O’Keefe — Chickenhawk.

As everyone knows, a chickenhawk is somebody who constantly clamors and screams for war, but doesn’t want to take part in the fighting him/herself.

James O’Keefe has achieved his “fame” — if you’ve even heard of him — by secretly videotaping people, editing the tapes and then publicizing them. Two days ago, James O’Keefe gave a speech to about a hundred fellow teabaggers. He insisted that nobody be allowed to film or record his speech.

Chickenhawk Bitch.

St. Patrick’s Day and the Labor Movement

This year, St. Patrick’s Day will have a special significance. Irish-Americans’ history is closely tied with America’s labor movement. Now that we’re seeing the most vicious rightwing attacks on working people since the early 1900s, St. Patrick’s Day has a dual meaning this year.

Patrick J. Lynch, leader of the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association, said:

“Union jobs, civil service jobs have always been the ladder out of poverty for working people in this country. The faces may have changed. The countries they're coming from may have changed. But the ladder is the same.”

And that ladder is getting yanked away in state after state.

Lynch said remembering the struggle of Irish-Americans is “especially important this year when unionism is under attack across the country.”

John Kilbane, business manager of Laborers’ Local 310 in Cleveland, said:

“We have gained our place through labor activism and political activism all across the United States. The old adage goes, 'A rising tide floats every boat.’ If collective bargaining is attacked and collective bargaining rights are weakened, or lessened or obliterated, it certainly is the beginning of a race to the bottom economically, not only for union people, but for those who are not fortunate enough to be represented by a union.”

Ohio State Rep. John Carney said a lot of people unloaded on him at a St. Patrick’s Day parade last weekend, about Ohio’s union-crippling legislation:

“If I had taken a straw vote, I would have said that it was overwhelmingly 'no' based on the people along the parade route, that's for sure.”

Peter and John Vaughan are third-generation members of the iron-workers’ union. Peter Vaughan said:

“We built this city. Labor has been good for the people, the masses. We're not going back to the old ways.”

And there’s always the exception that proves the rule. Two of the ringleaders of Wisconsin’s Destroy All Unions legislation are Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald and Assembly Speaker Jeff Fitzgerald. Let’s see, a black person who’s white on the inside is an Oreo; an Indian who’s white on the inside is an Apple. I’m sure the Irish have some colorful names for Irish-In-Name-Only assholes like the Fitzgerald brothers.

Wisconsin Republicans Can Run But They Can’t Hide

Wisconsin’s cowering Republican legislators are slinking away to attend a fundraiser in Washington, D.C. They can run but they can’t hide. When the Koch Brothers’ ball-washers arrive in D.C. they’ll be met with a huge protest.

The demonstration is being organized by People For The American Way, MoveOn.org and Common Cause among others.

The Republican fundraiser is being put on by BGR Group, which has a longtime affiliation with the Wisconsin GOP.

The fleeing Republicans actually have two reasons to go to this fundraiser. First of course is getting out of Dodge so they can escape the wrath of Wisconsin’s middle class residents (i.e. the taxpayers whose taxes are paying these assholes’ salaries).

And, well, prostitutes have to get paid. And these Wisconsin Republican prostitutes have performed big time. After a month of nonstop humping and gyrating for their corporate johns, these skanky prostitutes will receive a hefty payment for their “work.”

Or as the protest organizers put on their Facebook page:

“Last week, Wisconsin Republicans stripped middle class workers of their rights. This week, those same lawmakers are receiving their payoff by corporate lobbyists and donors.”

Wisconsin Senator Van Wanggaard: “Help! There’s a Protester Outside! MOMMY!?!?!?!?!?!”

Wisconsin State Senator Van H. Wanggaard is one of the Republicans who voted for Scott Walker’s bill to cripple labor unions. Wanggaard’s house was picketed sometime during the three weeks of anti-Walker demonstrations.

In response, Wanggaard is introducing a state law to prohibit demonstrations in front of private homes. Talk about suppressing a symptom instead of dealing with the underlying problem. This is kind of like putting masking tape over the dashboard so you won’t have to be bothered by that flashing red warning light.

Wanggaard sobbed to the Racine Journal Times:

“When they come to my house it's intimidating and threatening.”

Well guess what, Dickwipe — when you vote for a law that pulls the rug out from under hundreds of thousands of working people, some of those people might express their anger. If you can’t take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen.

And speaking of public feedback: Congressional Republicans are getting some angry responses when they — rarely — step out of their sheltered world of limousines and boardrooms and visit the unwashed masses.

When Congress is in session, they can sit there jacking each other off with “Yeah, let’s cut spending even further.” “A safety net? Job training? Cut it!” “My re-election was financed by a billionaire and he says he can’t purchase the next election for me unless he gets another tax cut.”

Two House Republicans who voted for the current package of spending cuts — Sean Duffy and Reid Ribble — got an earful when they stepped out of their bubble and talked to their constituents. The spending cuts include local job training programs, which will have disastrous consequences in their own districts. The CEO of the Fox Valley Workforce Development Board said:

“There needs to be some understanding of the programs being cut and their impact on an economy that's trying to recover and create jobs. They say they're hearing us, but I guess we'll know when the vote comes.”

Riiight. Send them a 6-figure campaign contribution and they’ll hear you just fine.

Bulletin: EMERGENCY in Virginia! Fetuses Are Being Aborted!

The Virginia Legislature has come up with a devious underhanded scheme for closing most of the state’s abortion clinics. And this bill has been classified as “emergency legislation,” meaning it has to take effect within 280 days after Governor McDonnell signs the bill.

This new law requires each abortion clinic to be regulated as closely as a full-fledged hospital. Currently, abortion clinics are under the same regulations as any doctor’s office that performs outpatient surgery. Under the new law, these clinics will be subject to much stricter, more far-reaching regulations — as if they were complete hospitals with hundreds of beds — which would require a complete retro-fitting of their facilities.

Most clinics won’t be able to afford these mandated upgrades. Out of Virginia’s twenty-one abortion clinics, seventeen of them are expected to close.

Since this legislation is designated as “Emergency,” the governor and his appointees to the state health department will have expanded power in writing these regulations. It also greatly reduces the public participation and accountability that non-emergency legislation would have.

Just imagine — if Wall Street was regulated one tenth as closely as the teatards want to regulate abortion clinics, there would have been no financial meltdown in 2008.

Conservative States’ Anti-Union Bills are Almost Identical

You think of states as being individual; having their own identity. Or as George Will put it, “fifty individual experiments in democracy.”

And yet there’s an eerie similarity between all of these anti-worker laws that are popping out of the red states like mushrooms blooming in a cow pasture. This article by Lee Fang concludes with:

“The conservative strategy for decimating the labor movement is being replicated with great speed — and little creativity. Each state, from Wisconsin to Ohio to Maine, and others across the country face a similar threat of phony Tea Party groups, business front organizations, and even nearly identical legislative proposals.”

This article was surprising at first, but then I realized: it figures. How could it be any other way?

The Right does everything in unison. They march in lockstep. Rightwads don’t have any individual ideas or originality. It’s the same pattern you see over and over. A rightwing demagogue comes up with a new talking point on Fox News or talk radio, and immediately, millions of dumbfucks are dutifully parroting the same line; probably without even knowing what they’re saying.

A corporate power-broker sends out marching orders, and millions of useful idiots snap to attention and go “Ugh! Yes Master.”

In addition to the union-crippling laws in Wisconsin and Ohio, there’s a new “right to work” law popping up simultaneously in Maine, Missouri and New Hampshire. Funny, all of these mouthbreathing reactionaries from three different states just happen to be on the same wavelength. Amazing, no?

I just remembered something: the first time I heard the word “euphemism” was high school Social Studies class. The teacher gave us the definition, and then used “right to work laws” as an example. “Doesn’t that sound nice, a ‘right to work’ law. Gee, who could be against something like that?”

Wisconsin Firefighters Show Us How It’s Done

Firefighters Local 311 has spoken to Scott Walker — and his fellow corporate puppets — in the one language he understands: Money.

Yesterday, union members withdrew almost $800,000 from Madison’s M&I Bank. Two firefighters had huge savings accounts adding up to $600,000 between the two of them. They each demanded a cashier’s check on the spot.

The executives and board members of M&I Bank were some of Scott Walker’s largest campaign donors last year. The union members’ run on the bank caused M&I to close for the day a few hours early.

M&I Bank was the proud recipient of $1.7 billion in taxpayer bailout money during G.W. Bush’s Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP). In other words, the money that M&I Bank donated to Scott Walker and other rightwing candidates was YOUR tax dollars at work.

Yesterday’s action by Firefighters Local 311 was a heartwarming reminder of what each and every one of us can do. When things are going to hell all around you, you don’t have to just sit there fuming helplessly, or sit at your computer typing in a bunch of banal cuss words like a 12-year-old at recess. (Not that I’ve ever done anything like that, but some other bloggers have gotten a little carried away in the past few days.)

We’re not powerless or helpless. What stores and businesses do you patronize? Where do you keep your money?

Every one of us can find some small way to make our voices heard; to make a difference. Now more than ever.

Wisconsin Union-Crippling Vote is All About the 2012 Election

You already knew that of course. But this time it’s not just a bunch of liberal tinfoil-hatters saying it. This time it’s straight out of the Koch-cum-infested mouth of Wisconsin Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald.

On Fox News, the Koch Whore said:

“If we win this battle, and the money is not there under the auspices of the unions, certainly what you’re going to find is President Obama is going to have a much difficult, much more difficult time getting elected and winning the state of Wisconsin.”

Any questions?

For now, Wisconsin is locked in a He Said She Said argument over whether the union-crippling vote violated Wisconsin’s open meetings law. Democrats say the open meetings law was violated; Republicans say it wasn’t. Maybe the new law will be tied up in the courts for awhile.

Hopefully a few Wisconsin Republicans will have been recalled by the time the issue is settled.

And here’s one for the books: a lobbying firm, BGR Group, will be holding a fundraiser for Wisconsin’s Corporate Republicans. They need a fundraiser? What’s next, an emergency relief drive for Wall Street CEOs? Donating a slingshot to Goliath?

The Death of Unions in Wisconsin

Wisconsin’s sleazebucket governor and corporate-owned state senate have just used their Nuclear Option. They found a way to delete union workers’ collective bargaining rights even without any State Senate Democrats present — and now it’s a done deal.

There have been rumors that Wisconsin Republicans might use this exact gimmick, but most people assumed they wouldn’t go through with it because of the resulting firestorm.

The state senate needs a quorum in order to pass any legislation having to do with the budget. But by turning the crippling of unions into a separate bill, unrelated to spending or the budget, they were able to vote even with no Democrats present.

Before the vote, Democratic Sen. Bob Jauch said if Republicans “choose to ram this bill through in this fashion, it will be to their political peril. They're changing the rules. They will inflame a very frustrated public.”

Bring on the flames.

Governor Scott Walker responded. It was hard to understand him because of David Koch’s cum dribbling out of his mouth, but it sounded something like:

“I applaud the Legislature's action today to stand up to the status quo and take a step in the right direction to balance the budget and reform government.”

Democratic Senate Minority Leader Mark Miller said:

“In 30 minutes, 18 state Senators undid 50 years of civil rights in Wisconsin. Their disrespect for the people of Wisconsin and their rights is an outrage that will never be forgotten. Tonight, 18 Senate Republicans conspired to take government away from the people. Tomorrow we will join the people of Wisconsin in taking back their government.”

Earlier today, Wisconsin’s State Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald was whimpering about the looming recall vote against Wisconsin Republicans, basically saying “it’s not faaaiir.”

Give that little shitbird something to cry about.

Newt Gingrich Volunteering to Go Fight in Libya

OOPS — sorry, I mis-read that. He isn’t offering to go there HIMSELF and fight. [sheesh] [pshaw] What was I thinking? He just wants OTHER PEOPLE to go to Libya and get killed or maimed. For WHAT???

I thought the United States was broke. Our infrastructure is collapsing, our “education” system is the laughingstock of the world and millions of Americans are in economic freefall with no safety net. And yet there’s apparently a secret trillion-dollar stash hidden away for special emergencies — like invading another country ten thousand miles away.

Newt Gingrich wants to invade Libya “this evening.”

“…It’s also an ideological problem. The United States doesn’t need anybody’s permission. We don’t need to have NATO, who frankly, won’t bring much to the fight. We don’t need to have the United Nations…All we have to do is suppress his air force, which we could do in minutes.”

Ah yes, it’ll be over in just a few minutes. Kinda like our cakewalk in Iraq, which was supposed to take a few weeks at the very most. How’d that work out?

“The United States doesn’t need anybody’s permission.” That’s right. We’ve been going downhill and backwards for years now, but America is still Number One God Damn It!

When Neuter Grinch says “we don’t need” NATO or the United Nations, he really means there’s no more “Coalition of the Willing.” That ship has sailed. The last bridge has been burned. Lucy yanked the football away from Charlie Brown one time too many.

Our military has already been bled dry from our quagmires in Iraq and Afghanistan. Recruiting standards have been lowered and lowered and lowered again. By now, every 42-year-old drug-addicted couch potato with a low IQ and a criminal record who might want to enlist, probably already has. Who would we be sending in to carry out Quagmire Number Three?

Newt Gingrich should stick to doing what he does best. Neuter: Why don’t you go serve divorce papers on your fourth wife, or whatever number you’re on now. Or are you waiting for her to get sick first?

Senator Scott Brown: “Will Bend Over for Food”

That does it — we need stricter laws to crack down on these aggressive panhandlers.

Don’t you just hate it when you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, and some sleazy deadbeat senator walks up to you and starts right in with:

“Hey man, can you help me out? I have an expensive re-election campaign coming up next year. Can you spare a few million dollars, man? You’d really be helping a brother out, man.”

Senator Scott Brown (R—Beggar) was caught on video, pleading and groveling for more money from David Koch. For some odd reason, that song by the Temptations, “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg,” has been running through my head all day. Damn it, and I used to like that song.

Request for Scott Brown: Before you drop your drawers and bend over for David Koch — get a room.

Pretty soon they’ll have to come up with an adjustable bumper sticker: “Scott ______________ Sucks Koch.” All you have to do is fill in the blank with either “Brown” or “Walker.”

Why Conservatives Hate NPR and PBS

Ever since the 1980s (and it‘s been getting steadily worse), the commercial news media have been dedicated to one thing: attracting the maximum number of listeners and advertisers. News is just a by-product. There are millions of viewers who don’t have two brain cells to rub together, and needless to say, they’re not looking for journalism and analytical reporting.

Who cares about derivatives and subprime mortgages (whatever those big words mean)? We want to know about Charlie Sheen! Prince Andrew! Lindsey Lohan!

Corporate powerbrokers and rightwing demagogues are perfectly happy with this arrangement. They may pretend they’re outraged at the “liberal” media, but mostly they’re just relieved at the tiny amount of real news that gets reported. It makes their agenda so much easier if millions of sheeple are just sitting there mesmerized by the celebutante gossip that passes for “news.”

Meanwhile, NPR and PBS are actually hiring more journalists. They’re spending millions of dollars on investigative news. Just as old-fashioned newspapers and radio/TV stations used to do, NPR and PBS are still scrutinizing business and government officials and holding them accountable to the public. Can’t have that now, can we?

PBS President Paula Kerger said:

“Where the marketplace is unable to serve, that's the role of public media. PBS exists to serve the people, not to sell them.”

No wonder they’re on the chopping block. Every time congressional Philistines are looking for ways to cut spending, public broadcasting is right up there along with schools, libraries, public health services, highway and mass transit funding.

And this resonates just fine with dimwitted GOP voters. “I don’t want my tax dollars going to something I never listen to ‘cause they use too many big words.”

Republican Plan to Disenfranchise Voters

Republicans have gotten tons of news coverage in their drive to castrate labor unions. But that isn’t the only part of their multi-pronged attack plan for annihilating all opposition.

Twenty-two states are planning legislation to require all voters to present a photo ID in order to vote. Rightwing demagogues have been getting their useful idiots all riled up about “voter fraud.” Talk about a solution in search of a problem.

There are already strict voting laws on the books. Fraudulent voting is a felony that can get you a huge fine and/or a prison sentence. The real problem is: too many of them poor people, minorities, senior citizens and college students vote. And they tend to vote Democrat, damn it.

In other words: “Voter Fraud!”

Some of these states are the country’s poorest and most debt-ridden, and yet for some reason they have millions of tax dollars available to enforce these proposed Voter ID laws. Oh well, the money will come from somewhere. Get ready for more cuts to mass transit, job training programs, libraries, schools…

If you’re part of the Far Right / Corporate drive for one-party rule, this is money well spent. Your tax dollars at work. If just a small percentage of low-income people, minorities and college students can be prevented from voting, think of all the close elections that could swing to the GOP column.

The linked article is worth bookmarking. This is valuable information, as unpleasant as it is. “Know Your Enemy” and all that.

De-Fund Planned Parenthood or America Gets It!

Several to-the-right-of-Hitler House Republicans are threatening to vote for a government shutdown if any of their anti-abortion amendments — including the amendment to de-fund Planned Parenthood — are not included in the spending bill. This is the bill that would keep the federal government funded through next September.

The ringleader is Rep. Chris Smith (R—Biblehumper). He said:

“I'm going to push so hard to make sure those are all in there.”

The amendment to eliminate all federal funding for Planned Parenthood was authored by Rep. Mike Pence (R—Cocksucker).

This new gang of Republican thugs is determined to take America back — to the 17th century.

As lowdown and slithery as Republicans are, you’d think the Democrats wouldn’t trust them as far as they could throw them. Unfortunately, Senate Democrats got punked by them. Again. Last month they made a handshake deal with Senate Republicans to dial down the unprecedented filibusters-on-steroids from last year and the year before.

They made a handshake deal with Republicans. [jaw dropping] [eyes throbbing]

A handshake deal with Republicans?!?!?!?!? Hellooo?!?!?!?!?

Gee, I met this honest-looking person yesterday near the bus depot. He had this heartbreaking story about needing $100 so he could get a bus back to Minneapolis where he had a job interview. He said he’d pay me back. So I gave him $100, and then I realized he didn’t have my address, so I lent him my driver’s license so he’d know where to send the money after he got back on his feet.

Needless to say, Senate Republicans are now planning to filibuster more and bigger and better than ever. The eight Senators (so far) who are planning this huge filibuster campaign are: Tom Coburn, John McCain, Jim DeMint, John Ensign, Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Mike Lee and Kelly Ayotte. Gang of Eight: go fuck a hornets’ nest.

Senate Democrats: For God’s Sake, get it in fuckin’ WRITING next time.

America: the Al Bundy of the World

In case you never watched “Married…With Children” — Al Bundy is a 40-something shoe salesman with no money, a car that doesn’t run and a totally dysfunctional family. But that doesn’t matter, because he spends most of his time reminiscing about his glory days on the high school football team.

And here we have a country with a crumbling infrastructure, a pitiful education system and a gap (more like an abyss) between the richest and poorest that’s wider than that of most Third World countries.

But that’s OK. Hey, we won World War II, and during the 1950s and ‘60s we were the most prosperous country in history. We’ve been to the moon. We’re Number One! Hey, remember that touchdown I scored in senior year?!?

This article by Fareed Zakaria has some unpleasant truths that we all need to acknowledge.

The U.S. is still the largest economy and has the world’s largest military by far. But as the author says:

“But these are snapshots of where we are right now. The decisions that created today's growth — decisions about education, infrastructure and the like — were made decades ago. What we see today is an American economy that has boomed because of policies and developments of the 1950s and '60s: the interstate-highway system, massive funding for science and technology, a public-education system that was the envy of the world…”

These grim numbers have already appeared in previous articles, but here goes:

Globally, America’s 15-year-olds rank 17th in science; 25th in math.

We’re 79th in elementary school enrollment. Our infrastructure ranks 23rd. America ranks 27th in life expectancy. And most pathetic of all — not mentioned in the linked article — one quarter of the world’s prisoners are incarcerated in the United States. Talk about a “government takeover.”

I don’t agree with everything the author says. But he makes an excellent point with:

“But reducing funds for things like education, scientific research, air-traffic control, NASA, infrastructure and alternative energy will not produce much in savings, and it will hurt the economy's long-term growth. It would happen at the very moment that countries from Germany to South Korea to China are making large investments in education, science, technology and infrastructure.”

We’ve spent decades coasting on the decisions and investments we made fifty years ago. Now that we’re gutting everything that holds this country together, what are we sowing for the future?

Republicans Don’t Really Want to Reduce Spending

If they did — here’s a $53 Billion dollar savings staring them in the face.

House Democrats tried to recoup $53 billion worth of subsidies and tax loopholes from the five largest oil companies. Every single Republican (hereafter referred to as the GOBP) voted “No.”

For some odd reason, during the vote all of the Republicans had their pants around their ankles and oil lobbyists’ dicks up their asses. Coincidence?

OK, so you can’t expect a prostitute to vote against her pimp.

But that’s not all. Republicans keep pretending they’re all about business and investment. Apparently they aren’t familiar with a few Business 101 expressions like “you have to spend money to make money” and “return on investment.” Anybody?

Republicans want to eliminate $600 million from the IRS’ budget (and an even larger cut next year). Hellooo!?!?!?!?

For every dollar the IRS spends auditing — and collecting from — tax cheats, the IRS brings in ten dollars. That complicated multi-syllable term again (since we’re talking about Republicans here) is “return on investment.”

Rep. Jose Serrano (D—NY) said: “It makes little sense to cut the agency that collects revenue.”

And last but not least — today’s Open Mouth Insert Dick award goes to Haley Barbour:

“I’m glad we got us a colored boy in the White House. That’s why so many good ol’ inbred boys got up off the couch and went to the voting booth last November.”

Republicans: “The Party of Jobs”

Job DESTRUCTION, that is. “Hey, we didn’t say anything about ‘creating jobs’ — we just said ‘jobs.’ Gotcha!”

It’s bad enough the Republicans have not created a single new job since they took over the House. Now on top of that, they’re planning to eliminate 700,000 jobs.

And who’s the moonbat socialist who came up with this leftwing propaganda? Fuzzy math, right?

Sorry, rightwads — this is from Mark Zandi, chief economist for Moody’s Analytics. Mark Zandi was also on John McCain’s economic team during the 2008 election campaign. Zandi had some dire news about the GOP’s spending cuts:

“The House Republicans' proposal would reduce 2011 real GDP growth by 0.5% and 2012 growth by 0.2%. This would mean some 400,000 fewer jobs created by the end of 2011 and 700,000 fewer jobs by the end of 2012...Significant government spending restraint is vital, but given the economy's halting recovery, it would be counterproductive for that restraint to begin until the U.S. is creating enough jobs to lower the unemployment rate…Imposing additional government spending cuts before this has happened, as House Republicans want, would be taking an unnecessary chance with the recovery.”

A report from Goldman-Sachs, leaked last week, was even more alarming: the GOP’s budget cuts would reduce second- and third-quarter growth this year by 1.5 to 2 percentage points.

How’s this “party of jobs” thingy workin‘ out for ya?