“George W. Bush Has Moral Values”

A voter in West Virginia actually said this. He was a lifelong Democrat until 2000, and then: “Bush was a good man and had good morals. I felt he was the better man.” This year — “I don't care for Obama.”

Words like “morals” and “values” have been thrown around so much, they’ve lost whatever specific meaning they ever had. They’ve become completely subjective.

It’s like what they say about pornography: “I can’t define it but I know it when I see it.”

Rightwing think tanks have been very busy over the last few decades. They’ve been manipulating the public consciousness, using the most sophisticated psychological and neurolinguistic techniques available. And it’s worked like a charm.

Thanks to these manipulative techniques, millions of Americans now have negative associations with the word “liberal.” “Liberal” means “soft,” “socialist,” “nanny state,” “well intentioned but fuzzy-headed.”

“Conservative” on the other hand equals “strong,” “upright,” “a pillar of the community.” Think of Ward Cleaver giving a kind but firm fatherly lecture to The Beav.

And the words “morals” and “values” now have a very strong mesmerizing hold on millions of voters. It doesn’t matter that they couldn’t define either of those words to save their lives. They’ve been hypnotized.

When a rightwing talking head utters either of those words, it’s like one of those scenes from The Manchurian Candidate where the subject hears a certain key word and flies into a hypnotic trance, ready to carry out his pre-programmed commands.

There have been numerous jokes and cartoons about Bush and “morals,” where a person admits Bush was wrong about invading a sovereign nation that wasn’t a threat to us, wrong about overturning several decades worth of environmental protections and wrong about waging economic war against the middle class. And at the end he says “but I like him because he has moral values.”

For millions of voters, this is no joke. For reasons they could probably never articulate, they really do think George W. Bush has “morals” and “values.”

Hey, he goes to church, he quotes the Bible from time to time, and he’s never had an affair with an intern (that we know of). So what if he’s killed thousands of American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians. Pulling the rug out from under millions of working-class citizens? Taking a shit on the Constitution?

Whatever. At least he has Values.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

There’s a Cure for PTSD! Oh, Nevermind, It’s Illegal

When terminal cancer patients would like to use marijuana to ease the nausea from chemo-therapy, the government tells them “Tough shit! Suck it up!”

And now the newest group of patients to get shat on by the government: Soldiers suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Ecstasy (MDMA) has been having promising results with PTSD sufferers who weren’t responding to any other treatment.

Oh, too bad. It’s against the law. Next.

Psychiatrists have long been interested in the benefits of Ecstasy. In 1976 a chemist, Alexander Shulgin, tried the drug. He described the effects as: “an easily controlled altered state of consciousness with emotional and sensual overtones.”

He thought the drug would be ideal for psychotherapy because it induces a state of openness and trust, but without the hallucinations. The drug started getting used in couples therapy and for treating anxiety disorders.

But alas, those decadent hippies and ravers started using the drug, and Ecstasy’s reputation turned into a variation on “Reefer Madness” and “Assassin of Youth.” Ecstasy was made illegal in 1985. And that pretty much put the kibosh on any more research into Ecstasy/MDMA.

A psychiatrist, Dr Michael Mithoefer, has been authorized to give Ecstasy to a few — very few — of his worst-off PTSD patients. Dr. Mithoefer thinks the Ecstasy-induced feelings of trust are what sets the drug apart from other treatments. He said:

“Many people with PTSD have a great deal of trouble trusting anybody, especially if they've been betrayed by someone who abused their trust, like a parent or a caregiver. MDMA has this effect of lowering fear and defences. It also allows more compassion for oneself and for others. People can revisit the trauma, feel the original feelings but not be retraumatized, not feel overwhelmed or have to numb out to cope with it.”

All right, that’s enough psychobabble. We have a War on Drugs to fight.

Aside from the legal problems and the social stigma of Ecstasy, the pharmaceutical industry might be another roadblock. If Ecstasy starts getting used more widely, the drug companies could lose millions of dollars in sales of anti-depressants that PTSD patients are currently using. Big Pharm says “Huh Uh.”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Global Warming and National Security

For conservatives, everything has to be Simple. Loud and Clear. They don’t want none of that there ambiguity or shades of gray; and none of that fuzzy liberal whimpering about “two sides to every issue.” Everything needs to fit neatly and snugly into a box with a label on it: Good. Bad. Black. White. Up. Down.

Unfortunately for the Wingtard Community, two of their favorite mantras — “National Security!” and “global warming is a myth” — have just had a fiery head-on collision.

That background noise you hear is the sound of millions of knuckledraggers simultaneously wailing “ooooohhhhh, my head hurts.”

According to this report, global warming is expected to make these problems even worse: humanitarian disasters, illegal immigration, and precarious governments being destabilized and overthrown. And all of these problems will affect America’s national security.

In answer to the thundering rightwing question “who’s the F#!$%&#!$# moonbat?” — this report was prepared by Tom Fingar, Deputy Director of National Intelligence for Analysis. He said:

“We judge that the most significant impact for the United States will be indirect and result from climate-driven effects on many other countries and their potential to seriously affect U.S. national security interests.”

This is part of a series of reports, which have been prepared by the top analysts of all sixteen American spy agencies.

Sorry Rightwads, back to the drawing board.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Why Do We Have An Energy Crisis? It’s Those Goddamn F&!%$#%!$ Treehuggers!!

How can we get gasoline back down to 32 cents a gallon? By drilling, drilling and more drilling. We have trillions and quatrabazillions of barrels of oil right under our feet, and it’s just sitting there.

National parks, national forests, wildlife sanctuaries, oceans — guess what’s underneath all those things? OIL! And we need it! NOW! And if it weren’t for those navel-gazing nature-worshipping PETA flag-burners, we’d have it. It’s all THEIR fault that gas is almost $5 a gallon and the economy is imploding.

According to this survey, 74% of likely voters actually believe the above bullshit. WTF??? Has American education really plummeted that far? Is somebody putting Stupid Pills in our drinking water? The term “critical thinking” is now officially an oxymoron.

No, the energy crisis has nothing to do with supplies and prices being manipulated by the international oil cartel. Energy speculators, you say? Bah! You’re just engaging in class warfare. Commie!

Undoubtedly the oil companies were anticipating — correctly! — that if they drove up the price of oil high enough, the American public would conserve energy and become even more adamant about developing renewable energy sources fall hook line and sinker, and obediently recite “Fuck those endangered species. We need that there oil. Git it! Now!”

And those survey respondents were likely voters?!?!?!? Aren’t there some sort of minimal requirements for being able to vote? If those people are really that gullible, somebody should direct them to the nearest outhouse and tell them it’s the voting booth. “To find the voting lever, lift up the lid and reach waaaay down…”

There probably isn’t a truth-in-labeling law for American currency, but why don’t we be honest with ourselves. It’s time to scrape off that “e pluribus unum” nonsense and replace it with the true voice of the American public: “DUUUHHH!!!”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Kit Bond (R-Missouri): “Zee Paperss Pleasse! Vee Haf Vays of Making You Talk!”

Calling all conservatives. Time to dust off your old “America: Love It Or Leave It” bumperstickers. You finally have an occasion to use it. We now have a truly un-American traitor who clearly hates everything America stands for. He should purchase a one-way ticket to the police state of his choice. Buh bye!

Two days ago, the months-long battle of retroactive telecom immunity finally came to an end. The final score: Third Reich 1, Democracy 0. (Yes Goddammit our slutty Democrats bent over and spread their cheeks for Dumbya yet again — did you really have to ask?)

As we’ve all been noticing, things have been changing in America since the Reichstag Fire September 11th attacks. The blueprint for America 2.0 was nicely summed up by Congressman Kit Bond (R-Missouri):

“I vass only following orderss I’m not here to say that the government is always right, but when the government tells you to do something, I’m sure you would all agree that I think you all recognize that is something you need to do.”

Take that, Founding Fathers! Congress shall make no law…abridging the freedom of… Sig Heil!

The terrorists have won.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

George W. Bush IMPEACHED!!!

OK, I’m jumping the gun a little bit here. But an important historic step has been taken by the House of Representatives, and there hasn’t been a peep out of the mainstream “media.” Zilch. Nada. Zip point shit.

The House has voted 251 to 166 to refer Dennis Kucinich’s impeachment resolution (H. Res. 1258) to the House Judiciary Committee. Here is a Google News link to the latest updates. It’s pretty skimpy.

This resolution might languish forever in the Judiciary Committee; but Kucinich has insisted that he’ll keep pressuring the House to act on it.

In any case, if the House votes to impeach Bush, the Senate is almost certain to acquit him (as was the case with Bill Clinton and Andrew Johnson). But still…Even if this impeachment resolution never gets anywhere, history has been made. George W. Bush is only the third U.S. president to go this far toward being impeached. That’s an elite group he’s joined.

Hey, Dumbya has finally — finally, after all these pathetic years! — outshone his daddy at something.

Shouldn’t this qualify as NEWS??? George W. Bush has become only the third president to have a House committee weighing an impeachment resolution against him. And all the “media” talks about is Jamie Lynn Spears, Amy Winehouse, Victoria’s Secret getting sued over a defective thong…

No wonder the world laughs at us.

At Least America is Still Manufacturing SOMETHING

Don’t listen to those doom-and-gloom liberals. America does TOO manufacture something: Refugees.

According to the United Nations, the number of worldwide refugees went way up in 2007. The ongoing quagmire in Iraq is responsible for a large part of the increase. Afghanistan and Iraq were the two leading countries of origin for refugees.

Afghan refugees make up 27% of the world’s refugee population. Several million of them are living in Pakistan and Iran. Iran??? What the F#$% are they doing there? Let’s hope these Afghan refugees don’t become collateral damage, with Iran being in our crosshairs.

Iraq came in second. Over two million Iraqis have taken refuge in Jordan and Syria.

Operation Iraqi Freedom — the gift that keeps on giving.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Warning to Iraq: George W. Bush Speak With Forked Tongue

Iraqi officials and the Bush Administration are negotiating over America’s future military presence in Iraq. This article is basically telling the Iraqis: Watch Your Back!

As columnist DeWayne Wickham says: “What the United States wants from countries it occupies, it usually gets.” Millions of Native Americans will vouch for that.

Iraqi negotiators are putting up a good fight for their own interests, and yet Bush is totally confident that the final agreement will be exactly what the U.S. government wants. Bush told a news conference: “I think we’ll end up with a strategic agreement with Iraq…We’re there at the invitation of the sovereign government of Iraq.”

The Worst President Ever — the World’s Biggest Laughingstock — is certain that he’ll get exactly what he wants from the Iraqi government. What gives? How long will we be in Iraq? Was McCain’s dumbass quip about “a hundred years” just an exaggeration? Maybe not.

Ask the Cubans how long they think we’ll stay in Iraq. We established our base at Guantanamo Bay in 1903. As you know, we’re still there.

Or ask Colombia. In 1903 (that was a busy year) America tried to force the Columbian government to allow us to build a canal in Colombia to connect the Pacific and the Caribbean. Colombia refused. The U.S. organized a revolution in the Colombian province of Panama, where the canal would be built. The newly-created Republic of Panama (protected by American forces) agreed to let us build the canal and maintain permanent control of it.

We did ultimately give up control of the Panama Canal, causing millions of rednecks to have a mass hissyfit. “We built it, we bought it, we own it!”

And now Iraq. Do you really think our hand-picked Iraqi government will get in the way of Manifest Destiny?

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Let’s See, Who Hasn’t Been Squeezed and Gouged Yet? Renters!

If you’re renting — better enjoy the fantastic deal you’ve been getting. It might not last much longer.

So far, banks and cell phone carriers have gotten most of the publicity for suckerpunching their customers with hidden fees, and changing the rules in the ninth inning. But other businesses are seeing how lucrative it is to be a sleazebucket, and they’re jumping on the bandwagon.

More and more landlords are using online data searches to find out everything imaginable about their prospective tenants. As the author of this article says: “It begins with a strip-search of one’s personal data.” And the would-be tenant pays for these background checks, regardless of whether he/she ends up getting the apartment or not.

Landlords are also more likely to require their tenants to carry renter’s insurance. This way, the building owners can pass their own insurance costs on to their tenants.

Like every other business, large landlords and property management companies are merging and consolidating and sharing data. This makes the gouging so much easier. A former president of the National Association of Residential Property Managers said: “There are more property managers getting together, we’re seeing where the loopholes are and we’re closing them up.”

Large apartment owners have started doing what hotels and airlines are already doing: using revenue-management software to calculate the absolute maximum rent they can charge right at this exact moment.

M/PF YieldStar is one of these “pricing optimization” services. They have 1.3 million customers now, and they’re hoping to have twenty percent of all apartment complexes on board within five years.

This service (and others like them) enables landlords to be constantly calculating the maximum rents they can get away with — and gouging their tenants accordingly. The president of M/PF YieldStar said: “They don’t have to think about and justify the rent. And they don’t…As you get more and more penetration and more people use revenue management, it’s just going to become the norm.”

And that’s not all. Some landlords are charging so many hidden fees and surcharges, they’re gonna make the credit card industry look like a charity. As the article says: “Application fees, administrative fees, credit-check fees, cleaning fees, move-in fees, surety bond fees, redecorating fees — all nonrefundable.”

A tenants’ advocate says: “It’s gotten really bad. In many instances there’s no accountability and they’re charging far more than their costs…You might actually pay $150 or $200 just for the privilege of moving in. There’s a fee for this, a fee for that. You get a fee for breathing.”

Or as Sam Kinison once bellowed out: “You’re lucky you’ve got air, ASSHOLE!”

And once you’ve moved in, the gouging continues: facility fees, storage fees, parking fees, utility-management fees or business-center fees...

A Houston property owner said: “Let's say you own a 10-unit apartment or a 1,000-unit apartment. If that apartment building is full, how do you make more money? You start by charging fees. These are all revenue enhancers, that’s what they are.”

Revenue enhancers. How quaint. This used to be called theft, gouging, and a bunch of less printable names.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

“Enemy Combatants” vs. A “Power Grab”

Everybody seems to be writing about yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling on Gitmo prisoners. So I guess the Court was saying that you can’t just transfer a prisoner away from American soil, redefine him as an “enemy combatant” and — Presto! His legal rights have all disappeared.

Why should common people have legal protections anyway? What are they trying to hide? Some gang of moonbats in England started this whole “legal rights” business about nine hundred years ago, and liberals are still whining about it.

And apparently the Bush Supreme Court agrees. So then, this means that the legal protections that go back more than 200 years in America — and 900 years in England — are more important than convenience and brownie points for a useless incompetent president. Who knew?

The above-mentioned White House Mascot sure is pissed. “Murcans are scared shitless of Ay-rabs, and that’s how I like it. When they’re scared, they’re gullible and I can tell ‘em anything and they’ll believe it. Heh heh. And now some pointy-headed judge is whining about Haybee-iss Korpis or somethin’ We’ll abide by the court’s decision. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with it.”

Anyway, this sure is a popular subject right now. It’s fun to watch rightwing bloggers and pundits getting into a mass pantytwist.

Yahoo! News has an opinion column titled “An Inexplicable Power Grab.” That’s as good a description as any. The Worst President Ever wants to eavesdrop on all of us, he’s been trying to merge government and Christianity into one big happy police state, and whenever Congress passes a law that Bush isn’t 100% happy with, he castrates it with a “signing statement.”

If anything, “Power Grab” is an understatement. But it’ll do.

This “Power Grab” opinion column was written by Richard Samp of the Washington Legal Foundation. He’s saying that…hmmm…huh?…WTF??? No way! You’re not gonna believe this, but when this asshole says “power grab” he’s referring to the Supreme Court decision itself; and not Bush‘s Reign of Error. Ooooookay.

So, let’s get this straight now. Bush has spent the last seven and a half years transforming himself into an unaccountable powerdrunk wannabe dictator. And that’s just hunky dory. But when the Supreme Court tries to put just the teensiest little restraint on our spoiled megalomaniac, it’s a “power grab.” Who is this douchebag?

Oh. Check out some of these links and you’ll understand. The Washington Legal Foundation is another one of those rightwing organizations dedicated to government secrecy, squelching of individual rights, corporate unaccountability and other cherished conservative principles.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Oh No! This Is Terrible! Too Many People Are Using Mass Transit!

For decades it’s been the same old slogans and soundbites:

You’ll never be able to pry motorists out of their cars. The automobile is too ingrained in the American psyche; Americans will never buy tiny cars or use mass transit like Europeans do. Why should we spend our tax dollars to subsidize a bunch of empty buses?

Or there’s the first person version: “I got stuck in traffic behind one of those F#$%&#! empty buses!” That’s sort of a variation on “I was in the checkout line behind this strapping young buck who paid for his steak and caviar with food stamps!”

I seriously doubt that these buses were ever as “empty” as the Single Occupant Vehicle addicts would tell you. As any mass transit commuter will patiently point out: When a bus is near the beginning or end of its route, most passengers either haven’t gotten on yet or they’ve already gotten off. At that point in its route, the bus looks “empty.”

As a ten-year veteran (maybe “inmate” or “prisoner” is a better description) of Golden Gate Transit in Northern California, I can sure vouch for this. When I got on the bus in the afternoon, sometimes I found a seat and sometimes I didn’t. Eventually enough people got off that there’d be a seat. For the last few miles of the route (I got off at the last stop) there were only a few passengers left. No doubt a lot of Single Occupant Vehicle drones were glaring and thinking “look at that shit, another one of those F#$%&#! empty buses!”

In any case, there’s been a sudden change. Now we’re facing the exact opposite problem. Gas prices have finally pried a few motorists out of their cars, and “too many people” are taking the bus.

Buses are standing room only. Sometimes they’re so full they don’t even stop. Would-be passengers are left standing out in the rain for another hour, hoping that the next bus will have room.

I would’ve thought that when a longtime problem does a big 180, that would be a good thing; but what do I know. Take housing prices. For twenty years, prices were going up and up and up. If you were lucky you might find a 1-bedroom condo for “only” $600,000. Then the opposite happened, housing prices fell, and suddenly “oh my God! A crisis! We’re gonna crash!”

And now, transit officials are wringing their hands helplessly at this mind-boggling new crisis: too many bus riders and not enough buses.

Uhh…maybe this is out of left field, or I’m too naïve or I’m missing something, but…ummm…wouldn’t a possible solution be…to GET MORE BUSES?!?!?!?!? Hmmmm?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh, that’s right. We can’t afford it.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Late-Term Abortion: The Human Side of the Tragedy

Mention “late-term abortion” and your typical Biblewipe will go ballistic. Out spews the fire and brimstone, along with images of a spoiled self-absorbed slut who carries a baby for five months and then casually decides “ugh, I think I’ll get an abortion instead, hey you wanna get stoned?”

The true story is a lot more complicated than that. And that’s unfortunate because the “Family Values” cabal needs everything to be V-E-R-Y---- S-I-M-P-L-E.

In this example, a 35-year-old woman was nineteen weeks pregnant with her second child. “We were so excited. We wanted this baby with every fiber of our beings.”

But a sonogram revealed severe medical problems. The doctors thought the baby would have a 7% to 9% chance of surviving. Among other problems, the baby’s limbs were bent and broken, and he didn’t have any functioning lungs or kidneys.

After three weeks of agonizing over what to do, her doctors told her if she didn’t get an abortion immediately, she’d have to carry the baby to term. She could miscarry at any time, and the baby could be born as early as twenty-eight weeks. The doctors said if the baby wasn’t stillborn, it would probably die a painful death.

So she had an abortion. She said: “He had no chance at life. What we had to think about was how he was going to die. It wasn’t about choice, because the option we wanted — to have our baby — was no longer available.”

Find the fire and brimstone in that story.

An obstetrician, Michael F. Greene, M.D., said: “Part of the strategy of anti-abortion activists is to demonize these women and make them into unsympathetic characters who view second-trimester abortion as a trivial decision. I have never met a woman who didn’t agonize over this decision.”

Nancy Keenan, president of NARAL Pro-Choice America, said: “These are tragic occurrences. These are usually very wanted pregnancies.”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

White Punks On Dope!

Summer is approaching. While we’re all looking forward to those days at the beach and long evenings in the backyard, summer can be a dangerous time. If you're concerned about Family Values and the moral fiber of this great nation, you’re probably dreading the arrival of those outdoor rock and roll festivals.

Our young people should be studying, working, praying, trying to better themselves — not listening to the Devil’s Music, cavorting half-naked and moving their hips in ways God never intended.

And worst of all — the Drugs! Thousands of decadent no-accounts shooting LSD, snorting marijuana and God knows what else — it’s enough to make you pray that the Rapture will hurry up and get here.

Fortunately, a few redneck police departments (with lots of gung ho narcs helping them out) are getting ready to tackle this serious problem. And they have a potent new weapon: Cultural Profiling. Nail those F#$%&! hippies and throw the key away!

“Routine” traffic stops — or even a highway drug checkpoint disguised as a “safety check” — will be set up on the roads leading to and from these rock festivals. And these “routine” stops and “safety checks” will include drug-sniffing police dogs. There’ll also be lots of undercover cops and narcs inside the festivals themselves.

Thank God this is a high priority. Your tax dollars at work.

Last weekend, the 2008 Summer Camp Festival in Chillicothe, IL was attended by 13,000 rock fans. Narcs and cops swooped in and made twenty drug arrests for pot, LSD and ecstasy. The local police chief beamed: “I think a lot of it had to do with all of the agencies getting together before the event and really planning out our attack.”

Whew! The citizens of Illinois are safe — for now! — from those pot-crazed maniacs.

And in Habersham County, Georgia, a 24-hour highway checkpoint yielded 31 drug arrests (mostly marijuana of course). The value of the cars and other property seized was $82,000. Yeehaw! Git ‘er done!

OK, I admit it — Conservatives were right. I sure do love this here Limited Government.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Carl Icahn: “Those Lowly Workers Don’t Need a F&#$*&!#*$! Severance Package”

“That’s the trouble with America today. There’s too much of that pansy socialism. Employers have turned into a bunch of bleeding-heart pussies. They think they owe something to their employees?!?!?!?!? Workers are a dime a dozen; they’re chattel. Their bosses don’t owe them jack shit! When I take over your company, your job is toast. Move on! Get lost, you worthless piece of trash!”

Carl Icahn didn’t say those exact words of course, but that’s the obvious viewpoint of America’s favorite Shitstain/Billionaire.

You might or might not have been following Microsoft’s attempts to gobble up Yahoo! These corporate “Clash of the Titans” dramas aren’t exactly the most riveting news out there. Carl Icahn is planning to ask Yahoo! shareholders to fire their board of directors for refusing to let Microsoft buy them out.

The last straw was when the Yahoo! board of directors offered a generous severance package to Yahoo! employees whose jobs would be eliminated if the two companies merged. Commies!!!

Icahn is even trying to fire Yahoo!’s founder and CEO, Jerry Yang.

Jerry Yang has created one of the greatest technological innovators of the past fourteen years. What the fuck has Carl Icahn given us?

If Icahn is successful, he might even upstage Charles Hurwitz as the number one douchebag of the corporate world. Charles Hurwitz isn’t exactly a household name any more, but he makes Kenneth Lay look like Mother Theresa.

Hurwitz is single-handedly responsible for the “environment vs. timber industry” battles that polarized Northern California in the 1990s. In the late ‘80s his company, Maxxam, took over Pacific Lumber. Pacific Lumber had been a locally-owned company for generations. They were excellent stewards of the land. They were practicing sustainable timber harvesting long before “sustainable” became a popular soundbite.

After Hurwitz took over the company, Pacific Lumber started plundering and cutting down everything that didn’t move. This begat the “timber wars” of the 1990s. A formerly harmonious region became wracked with mutual hatred between a bunch of “dumbfuck beer-bellied lumberjacks” and “long-haired navel-gazing treehuggers.” Pacific Lumber also started some massive downsizing, which was always blamed on treehuggers and spotted owls.

As you can see from the linked article, Hurwitz was also one of the main culprits in the savings and loan scandals of the 1980s. If you were paying taxes during that period, some of your tax dollars went to Charles Hurwitz.

If Carl Icahn wants to be associated with shit like this, he’s on the right track.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Hillary Finally Dies

Aw shucks, funerals are always so sad.

AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! The corpse is still flailing! It's jumping! It's running around, attacking people!

Quick, drive a stake through its heart!

The flailing corpse and its husband (how can we miss him if he won’t go away?) have been nothing but a rotting albatross for the Democrats. Buh bye now.

Hillary has been like a mildly interesting (at first) party guest who gets totally shitfaced, wears a lampshade and starts annoying and interrupting and shouting down everybody else at the party, and ends up staying and staying and staying long after all the other guests have left.

She also reminds me of this one episode from Tales From The Dark Side — a Godawful Twilight Zone ripoff from the 1980s. This old man has just died, but he either doesn’t know it or won’t admit it. He comes down to the kitchen one morning, with flies buzzing all around him. He’s batting away at the flies and cussing at them, and everybody else in the house is yelling out “Grandpa, you’re dead.”

This keeps going on for several days. Finally one morning at the breakfast table (by now the flies are thicker than ever), he sneezes and his nose falls off. That’s when he agrees that he must be dead, and he promises to go upstairs and lie down for good.

Anyway, a lame episode of a thoroughly retarded TV show — but Hillary made me think of it.

Up until a few months ago, there seemed to be a lot of nostalgia for Bill Clinton’s presidency. Not because he was a great president or anything — but his tenure was just a more innocent era, compared to everything that’s happened since then. There’s almost a 1950s-type of nostalgia for the 1990s.

Remember those halcyon days? The most burning issues were the usual Republican/Democrat arguments over Property Rights and Limited Government versus safe working conditions, protecting the environment, etc. And of course, did Bill have sexual relations with “That Woman Miss Lewinsky.”

But now the Clinton nostalgia has evaporated. Poof! They’ve both been way too ubiquitous, front and center 24/7, and they’ve both come across as even more manipulative and underhanded than anyone ever suspected.

And Bill Clinton’s legacy as “America’s First Black President” is deader than a doornail. This isn’t just because the next president might actually be black. Even if McCain wins, Billary’s sly “subtle” use of the Race Card (about as subtle as a freight train) has obliterated that legacy.

Now, let's cut that albatross loose and get on with the Obama-McCain presidential race.

Bo Diddley

If you’re younger than a certain age — late 40s maybe — “Bo Diddley” might be just three meaningless syllables. But he was one of rock and roll’s founders and unsung heroes.

He died today at his home in Florida. He was 79.

You may have never heard of him, but if you’ve listened to anything under the “Rock” category over the past 40 years — you’ve heard his influence.

He was one of the earliest black rock-and-rollers (along with Chuck Berry and Little Richard) whose music crossed over to “mainstream” (i.e. white) audiences.

His biggest hits include “Bo Diddley,” “Who Do You Love,” (covered by Ronnie Hawkins, the Doors and Quicksilver Messenger Service), “Before You Accuse Me” (covered by Credence Clearwater Revival) and “I’m a Man” (covered by the Yardbirds and a jillion other performers).

His real name was Elias McDaniel. Bo Diddley was a childhood nickname which became his stage name as well as the title of his first hit record.

He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987, and he received a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1998.

He considered himself the father of rock and roll. In 2007 he told an interviewer: “Little Richard came two or three years later, along with Elvis Presley. In other words, I was the first dude out there.”

R.I.P.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Health Care Crisis: Wal-Mart to the Rescue!

You’re probably thinking “What the F%$#!&*^%$#$!#?!?!?!?!?” But this article makes a few interesting points.

Yes, Wal-Mart has thrown people out of work by driving local stores out of business. And your local emergency room is flooded with Wal-Mart employees who can’t afford (or aren’t qualified for) their company’s health care “coverage.”

But: Wal-Mart now offers low-cost prescriptions for 350 generic drugs. A 90-day supply costs $10. And about a thousand over-the-counter drugs are available at extremely cheap prices. Take that, pharmaceutical robber barons.

I’m surprised there isn’t a gang war going on between the Big Pharm Crips and the Wal-Mart Bloods.

Wal-Mart has also started opening inexpensive walk-in medical clinics at some of its stores. So far they’re just in Atlanta, Little Rock and Dallas. There should be more soon.

Well, it’s a start.

Now, as long as we’re visiting Bizarro World, let’s stay on a roll…

Wal-Mart is too liberal! That was not a typo. There really are a few ultra-rightwing dildos out there who believe this.

Peter Flaherty has been attending Wal-Mart shareholder meetings to tell the management they’re too soft on unions, too accommodating to homosexuals and too concerned about the environment. He yelled into the mike: “People shop at Wal-Mart because of low prices, not because the company is politically correct.”

Flaherty is head of a rightwing think tank called National Legal and Policy Center, which owns a few thousand dollars’ worth of Wal-Mart stock. Another member of the National Legal and Policy Center said: “The more Wal-Mart tries to appease the Left, the more the Left demands.”

I’m sure glad the Far Right isn’t demanding like that.

cross-posted at Bring It On!