Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, May 14, 2005

It Was All A Big Misunderstandin’

“Whah Hail, Ah didn’t mean them comminist devil-worshippin’ democrats had to leave mah church. Is that what excomupoop, uh, er, excommunicate means? There Ah go again, usin’ them big words I cain’t pronounce and don’t even know the meanin’ of.”

As you probably know by now, the Reverend Chan Chandler of East Waynesboro, NC excommunicated nine members of his church. Their unforgivable sins were: 1) voting for John Kerry; and 2) refusing to sign a document saying they had repented and now agreed with their minister’s political views.

Surely the Bible has something to say about people using their position of authority to repress other people, and then pretending they were “misunderstood” when they get called on it. If so, this self-righteous Baptist Minister is in trouble. Maybe not legal trouble, but if the Bible means anything more to him than just a club to bully people with, he’s got some ‘splainin’ to do when he goes to his reward.

As usual, it was mostly bloggers and other independent news sources who gave this story its early momentum. The mainstream corporate “media” were mostly just sitting on their thumbs and drooling over their sales figures and merger plans.

And now that he’s been thrust into the spotlight, the Ayatollah Chandler is running away with his tail between his legs. It was all just a big misunderstanding, and he’s hurt that anyone could have reacted this way. Like a cockroach that scurries away when someone turns on the lights, Chandler has now gone from fire and brimstone to “I am resigning with gratitude in my heart for all of you, particularly those of you who love me and my family.” Coward.

Buh bye.

Perhaps every historical figure who got caught with their hands in the cookie jar should have a chance to rewrite history and exonerate themselves. That poor Richard Nixon had his presidency ruined by the Watergate scandal, and it wasn’t even his fault. Here’s what really happened:

Nixon was giving a rousing pep talk to Gordon Liddy and the other six Watergate burglars. He was trying to get them all fired up about defeating the Democrats in the upcoming election, and in the middle of his speech he said “this could be your big break.” And somehow those seven dunces misunderstood. They thought he was — gasp! — telling them to break into the Democratic headquarters in the Watergate building. No!!!

Well, you know the rest. A decent, honest-to-a-fault president was forever scandalized and tainted because his hired help misunderstood him.

14 Comments:

Blogger Kate said...

I talked about this incident on my blog a couple of days ago. I myself am a Christian, but I deplore the idolatry of politics practiced by people like this. I believe the Bible verses that apply here are as follows:

13"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.[c] Matthew 23:13

34You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:33-37

Both these passages were spoken by Jesus to the clergy of the day. They were often appointed by the Roman government and they betrayed the people they were supposed to serve.

May 14, 2005 at 11:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate: Thanks for your comment. I'm hoping there are lots of people with Christian beliefs who see through the powermongering being done in the name of Christianity. (I was brought up as a Christian but I've become pretty much an Agnostic in my old age.)

I'm not familiar with those passages but I've known there are lots of Biblical passages that condemn hypocracy and using the Bible as a political tool (among other things).

It's unbelievable that political groups can take just a few passages from the Old Testament and use them as a rallying point for their cause, and totally ignore the rest of the Bible.

May 15, 2005 at 11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First of all, thanks for commenting over at my site, Tom...

Fortunately I'm an atheist, and consider any church to be a waste of a perfectly good sunday morning, but I too hope more christians in this country will stand up and show those snake-oil salesmen for what they are. The fact that several church members walked out was promising, and the fact that this turkey had to resign over all of this is also promising.

As an atheist, my opinions will ever only go so far, seeing as how I'm satan incarnate to most theists (and not just christians, and I"m of that opinion that churches that get involved in politics need to have their tax exempt status summarily yanked), so it's up to all the other, decent, hard-working, red-blooded American christians who worry about the devastating effects that the breakdown of the wall between church and state would have mostly on church, to stand tall and oppose their wayward brethren.

March on, christian soldiers!

May 15, 2005 at 2:15 PM  
Blogger Gunga Dan said...

I wonder about the implications of the Rev. quitting. On the one hand, it would be nice to think the congregation regained some control it had ceded to him, given the intensity of the election season. On the other, the threat of losing tax-exempt status might have come to seem more real. I just wonder.

May 15, 2005 at 3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bee: I sure hope you're right, that more Christians will start seeing these snake-oil salesmen for what they are. And I definitely think political preachers like that should lose their tax-exempt status.

Brother Kenya: I think it was the latter.

May 15, 2005 at 3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK Democrat: Yeah, they're a double-edged sword all right. But at least in this case they helped get rid of that North Carolina fanatic. I think it's good that there are so many blggers, of all viewpoints. The corporate "media" aren't doing anything except getting fat and lazy, and bloggers and other online activists are filling in the vacuum.

May 15, 2005 at 11:52 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

I never heard a thing about Chan Chandler on CNN News. Was he ever mentioned there? It makes me glad I check out a number of blogs, this one included.

May 16, 2005 at 6:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snave: I saw it mentioned on a TV newscast, but not until after I already knew about it from several blogs.

May 16, 2005 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger LingLing said...

i know it's old news, but i still can't get over how the media are condemned as being 'liberal'. HA!

i'm an atheist too, and all the grandstanding and attempts to co-opt Christianity into the service of politics make me sick. I think people who are Christians, on the right and the left, are starting to reject this too...hope so anyway.

May 16, 2005 at 7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ling Ling: Yeah, that "liberal media" is the biggest myth of all. I don't they're even political; they're only interested in the bottom line and they don't to piss off any powerful people, left or right. They probably wouldn't have touched this story if bloggers hadn't picked it up. I read about it on quite a few blogs on BE before I saw anything about it in the mainstream news.

I sure hope more Christians start seeing through all the political grandstanding being done in the name of Christianity.

May 16, 2005 at 7:45 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

I was raised Christian (Episcopalian), and within the last year, I chose to walk away from organized religion. In part due to my own life-inspired observations and evolution, but primarily because I just couldn't stomach the hipocracy of priests echoing the contorted spewings of Bush by using their pulpits and microphones as political soapboxes and bullhorns anymore. I am glad to see stories like these are beginning to see the light of day.

BTW, tom harper, you are a most considerate blog host, and I think it's great how you regularly reply to your vistors' comments.

May 17, 2005 at 10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sar: Thanks. I try to answer all comments and get an interesting dialogue going. I also was raised as an Episcopalian. My family wasn't super religious, more like "decent people go to church on Sunday so that's what we'll do."

BTW I like your yellow ribbons in yesterday's post. I tried to think of a witty slogan to add to your comment section, but I couldn't think of anything.

May 17, 2005 at 11:49 AM  
Blogger Sar said...

Tom - thanks for stopping by and for your compliment about our little blog. We blog about our anti-Bush stances too, but we try to inject a bit of humor as well. I'm never sure how intelligent folks, like yourself, are going to receive it. BTW, I've blogrolled your site.

May 17, 2005 at 12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sar: Thanks.

May 17, 2005 at 4:02 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home